I would suggest reading lesbian BDSM-themed porn. If you want to sober up, that is.

Alternatively, I'm sure there are people's doors you could knock on. When they open their doors, remember to stare blindly in their direction. You may even want to stroke your hair as you stare through them, muttering something or other half under your breath. Then, when they appear to be getting frustrated (or about to turn away) suddenly see them/something behind them that scares you, stop stroking your hair, achieve a look of perfect abject fear/horror, and either cover your head with your arms protectively until they go away or simply run away scarededly (i.e. half ducked-down, arms spread wide [you may want to be holding a flashlight, as it's nearly 2am, and be waving that so you can see where you're going]*, stopping every few metres to dartedly look around for the source of "that noise you keep hearing"*).

*If you do have a flashlight and aren't going to just fade away into the darkness, every time you stop to find the source of "that noise", point the flashlight out like a gun/one of Charlie's Angels. Then, after a few seconds of Listen Pose-ing, look around a bit, and keep running.