Strong Verbs Are Just Better

My DW account has lapsed, due to Reasons, and I don't have any of my medieval-specific icons atm but I enjoy the insight into which icons I DO use most (I think that's what it's picked? Or maybe I just like the random selection).

The Meme of the Day on twitter yesterday was making "I had a joke about _x_ but it was _y_" with classical mythology figures. When I started this thread I had only seen Greco-Roman versions and a few Egyptian; by now it's everywhere.

I am actually quite proud of most of these, and certainly of the fact I produced them ALL. The fact I produced them all may either be a side effect of ADHD meds #6 (less-than-half-dose version) or a consequence of coming off #5 to start #6. Am I hyper or am I just Like This? Who knows.

This one time at Christmas I totally lost my head and started telling jokes about Gawain.

— Amy, mostly hat (@amisamileandme) August 19, 2021

Text, for posterity: "This one time at Christmas I totally lost my head and started telling jokes about Gawain."

And almost fifty more:

If you ever heard me tell a joke about the Canterbury Tales, I regret it; it was too worldly and I retract it utterly.

I’ve got a great joke about medieval romance: I read it in A Certain Book, and if you will listen to me for a time, I will tell it to you as best I know how - though I am but a poor joker - in our English tongue…

Do I have a good joke about Peter Abelard? Well… yes and no…

I want to tell a joke about Chaucer’s Pardoner but I haven’t got the balls for it.

I challenged Origen to a joke-off but HE didn’t have the balls for it.

I hate to break it to you but there never really was a joke about King Arthur.

Lord, help me stop making jokes about Augustine of Hippo - but not yet.

I fell asleep and in my dream, William Langland started to tell a joke but it turned into a really long and tedious sermon.

I’ve heard a lot of jokes about 14th century social history but they’re all revolting.

I had to take my Beowulf joke off my OKCupid profile, it was making me undatable.

I decided not to make jokes about the Codex Amantianus, the subject is too heavy.

I DO have a joke about Robert Cotton’s library, though, it’s totally lit [fire emoji]

My joke about the Dream of the Rood fell flat and I had to explain it, which was annoying, and in the end there I was, talking, cross…

I told Margery Kempe a joke and she cried about it.

I was hoping to tell a joke about the cathedral called ‘The Ship of the Fens’ but it’s ely difficult to remember

I’m working on a joke about the Sermo Lupi ad Anglos, but it keeps getting so long, and so worse, and so it shall, by necessity, for the people’s sin…

I had to stop making jokes about medieval abbreviations, but I miss ⁊.

I had a joke about hell in Genesis B: it was long and windy.

I was asked to make a joke about an Old English noun; I declined it.

You’ve all been waiting for a joke about Chaucerian rhyme schemes, and at last I’ve got one for you - final-e.

I’ve heard there’s a really good joke about the formation of the biblical canon, but it’s probably apocryphal.

I told a dragon a joke about St Margaret but he found it hard to swallow.

We had planned to develop a suite of jokes about Joseph of Arimathea but we just can’t find the staff.

I’d like to tell a joke about The Seafarer, but I’m all alone in a boat and I have no friends.

I had a joke about the foreskin of Christ… and so did five other people.

I’ve been struggling to write a joke about Salome but I just can’t get ahead…

My joke about the Physiologus is actually a theological metaphor.

Jokes about Monastic Orders? Oh yes, I make them regularly.

I once made a joke about how to have appropriate marital sex according to medieval moral standards, but I didn’t enjoy it.

Once I told a joke about the Play of the Crucifixion and I totally nailed it!

Absolutely no one reads all the jokes about the Prose Tristan.

My joke about 13th century Franciscan politics is un-Conventual.

My joke about monastic hours gets longer in summer.

Have you “yerd” my Chaucerian dick joke?

I’ve got a joke about sin, it’s very original.

When I’m sad I make jokes about Boethius, it’s a real consolation.

There are two kinds of jokes about medieval sex: the active and the passive.

I was going to make a joke about the Welsh at Crecy, but it was really drawing a long bow.

I don’t make jokes about the Arthurian mosaic at Otranto, that’d be too catty.

Sure I make jokes about marginalia, but I’m only monkeying around.

One good thing about Enide is she always has a joke to hand: her husband.

I heard Sir Gowther tell a joke once, he made a complete dog’s breakfast of it.

No one believes I made a great joke about impotence trials, because it didn’t stand up to inspection.

It’s difficult to make jokes about the temptation of Benedict- a real thorny problem.¨

All my jokes about medieval theories of reproduction are seedy.

Did anyone hear Le Goff’s joke about the Middle Ages? It was really, really long.

I could make a joke about the death of Roland but I don’t want to blow my own horn.

I’ve got a joke about medieval education but it’s too trivial.

I won’t tell you my joke about the evolution of French from Latin, it’s vulgar.

You know who’s great at telling jokes? Prester John. He’s going to ride over the horizon any day now with his army of morally righteous comedians…

Me: three French noblewomen walk into a tavern…
Chorus: what were their naaaaames?
Me: Jeanne.

The last one doesn't fit the format but will be recognisable to anyone who's been to Sydney University Musical Society camps. Unfortunately, that doesn't involve many historians of medieval France.

Anyway: Jeanne-fail aside, this is, I think my magnum opus. All shall love me and ... facepalm.